Sombre Beliefs
by FlightlessLeaf
Summary: Naruto was the ever constant in Sasuke's life. Through good and dark times, he had always been there for him. And when Sasuke found out he was mentally ill, and Naruto wasn't real, he continued to be there. Always. Lying to those around him, Sasuke continues his life pretending to have recovered. But after meeting her, he has reason to take to take his pills once more.
1. Prologue

**_Hey everyone, this is a new story that's been in my head for a while and is greatly inspired. Hope u enjoy, and there's more author's note at the bottom _****_J_**

**_And this story is rated for dark themes, not lemons :_****_J_**

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

* * *

**UCHIHA SASUKE**

* * *

Naruto had always been a constant in my life. I'd first seen him when I was nine. He was a twenty five year old man who was passing me by in the park and when he caught sight of me, alone under the willow tree near the lake, he didn't hesitate to approach and pull out a lollipop from his pocket. His crazy blonde hair and wild smile had stunned me senseless.

I've seen him every day since then, possibly more than my parents. He had a tempest personality and the loudest voice, but he was always there for me. He was the one who visited me at midnight and read me stories when I couldn't sleep when I was eleven, the one who badmouthed bullies when I explained to him the problems at school at thirteen, and the one who taught me to fight at fifteen years of age. _Patience is a virtue, Sasuke, but don't you let them hit you. If they dare, deck 'em square in the face, _he'd say, _because the only one who can beat you in anything is you._

But most importantly of all, Naruto was the first person to see the cuts on my wrists, and when he did, he pulled me into a strong embrace and patted down my hair. I had never cried in front of him before, but in that moment, in the bathroom where I had taken off my shirt, Naruto saw the self-inflicted harm that I had tried too hard to cover. And all the barriers I had that kept me safe against the world came crumbling down in front of the one person only I ever saw.

Of course, Naruto was not the only one. There was Ayane the girl who used to sit on the edge of my bed counting sheep at night because she couldn't sleep. There was Lee too, and Kaya and Shino and even Chouji. They all hung around me like flies, and though they did, my parents had never once seen them. It didn't bother me at first. My parents were never one to pay attention to my group of friends, just knew them by name.

But it was when I was eighteen that I was having breakfast on a Sunday with them at the kitchen table and came waltzing down the stairs and sang me a good morning. I had replied, per usual, but my parents immediately looked alarmed. And that was when it first struck me like ice water had splashed over my face. Naruto never spoke in my parents' presence, much less hung around them.

From that moment, time began to pass in a haze, and my memory became fuzzy. All I remember was a sudden increase of my parents' interest in me, and meeting my therapist, Hatake Kakashi, for the first time. I missed my high school graduation, spending my time in Kakashi's office, taking medication, and coming to terms that I was mentally...ill.

'You understand your condition, don't you, Sasuke?' He asked me constantly, leaning over in his seat and putting his hand on his desk.

I always responded numbly. 'I do. I have schizophrenia.'

And he always nodded. 'So what about your friends? Chouji, Shino and Ayane? And Kaya and Naruto?'

'Ayane wasn't my friend; she just sat in my room and annoyed me.' Was my immediate response, but seeing Kakashi's frown, I corrected myself, 'they're just hallucinations. They don't really exist.'

Kakashi truly was a good man. He helped me understand things I had never thought of before. Like why I had never questioned why my 'friends' never grew older, or why the presents Kaya used to buy me were never found in my room. The medication he gave was quite helpful too, meant to stop the hallucination, since I was lucky enough to only have hallucinating symptoms of schizophrenia.

Sure enough, with the right treatment, all my friends slowly left. Shino and Ayane left first, and then the others. There was no more Chouji the newspaper stealer, or Lee the jogger in the park, or even Kaya the insomniac roommate. But Naruto never left. He always stuck by.

'You sold me out!' I had shouted at him when I first found out he wasn't real. I chucked my bedside lamp at him, and he dodged it before slamming me against the wall with a rare glare on his face. 'Don't you dare, Sasuke,' he warned lowly. 'Don't you dare accuse me. I will _never _sell you out.'

I didn't bother fight against him. Because I didn't want to. So even though the medication worked against the others, and even though I knew Naruto was no real person, I reduced my pills by half after Kaya left. So Naruto would stay around for as long as I wanted him. Because the only person who can beat me is me.

'_I'm the best friend you've got. Believe it.' _Naruto grinned, and I believed him, and refused to believe I needed any other.

_'I'll grow older than you one day,' I_ admitted to him once. He snorted laughter and waved it off with a flick of his hand. _'Age is just a concept idiots came up with.'_

A lot has changed in my life since then. I got an ear piercing and a tattoo on my left arm, and moved to the city to attend university. I've been living on campus and working at the university's restaurant for the past three years, studying Bachelor of Arts. Everything's been going well. Other hallucinations haven't come back, I still met with Kakashi once a month, and I was at peace with my life. Everything was going _well._

Until I met the one person who made me want take my pills again. In fear that the hallucinations were coming back.

Haruno Sakura.

* * *

**_Okay everyone, so this is my new story for Naruto. I first had plans to make it a Shingeki No Kyojin fanfic but I unfortunately decided against it because a lot of characters didn't fit, and I didn't want to create original ones._**

**_I've got two other stories I'm also writing, as well as an overachieving school on my back who insist that anything less than 99 is despicable for your VCE atar results, so updates won't be very frequent._**

**_I don't exactly know how to end this story, which is unusual for me because I plan my stories inside out, but the inspiration hit me hard for months and I'm really interested in schizophrenics, so I've decided to write this now. _**

**_Obviously, I have no experiences with the illness, nor do I know anybody who has it, and everything is based off lots of research, so I apologise if anything is incorrect._**

**_Thank you for checking this story out, and keep in mind that it's only a prologue and following chapters would be much longer _****_J_**

**_Oh, and I know Naruto was a bit OOC here, but trust me, it's just in the prologue, and though he won't be a complete idiot like he is in the anime, he will definitely have his trademark personalities, so have no fear _****_J_**

**_And I don't plan any lemons in this story, it's just M rated for some themes that some people might not be comfortable with_**

**_Love to hear your thoughts_**

**_XOXO_**


	2. Chapter One

**CHAPTER ONE**

**UCHIHA SASUKE**

Naruto sat comfortably in the passenger seat, tapping his fingers to the beat of the song on the radio as we drove down the city streets. 'We're running late.' he observed casually, looking out the window.

'I know.' I replied, sneaking a look at my wristwatch.

It was almost 2pm and my appointment with Kakashi was at half past. I had less than forty five minutes to get to his office which was in the suburbs, compared to university in the city. Normally I'd have left campus at 1pm to reach appointments with my therapist, but my shift at work got extended by half hour this morning, delaying my usual schedule. If there was one thing Kakashi disliked, it was clients who were late to appointments.

'Why'd you decide to come along this time?' I asked Naruto, since under normal circumstances, he hated Kakashi and his office of 'psychologically disturbing art', as he liked to call it. He'd usually stay back and let me go alone, but he insisted on joining me today.

'Not much,' he excused, 'just want to see what the old toot is drilling into your mind. Is he trying to hypnotise you into taking the pills?' leaning over, he turned off the radio before rolling the window open.

'He's tried every now and then, just to make sure the hallucinations won't come back.' I told him. Naruto grinned like a fool and reached over to tousle my hair. I slapped his arm away, concentrating on the road ahead, making acute notes about the lack of speed the car in front of us was making.

'You don't take them though, do you? I'm so proud!' He gave a laugh and leaned back in his seat happily.

'Would it make a difference if I did?' I questioned with a wry smile, but refused to look his way.

He 'harrumphed' proudly. 'No,' he answered. 'It wouldn't. It'd take a lot more than a couple of pills to get rid of me, Sasuke.'

I spared a glance his way. 'Just out of curiosity, how many?'

He smirked. 'Too many.' Then, he leaned out the window, and with his white blonde hair whipping around his face, he shouted 'PRESS THE GAS, MATE!' loudly to the car at front. I rolled my eyes as he pulled his head back in, blowing strands out of his face. Despite physically being twenty five, Naruto was much older than he seemed, and yet, sometimes he acted like a child. Something I respected. Because Naruto always did things for me that he knew I couldn't do. Like scream at a slow car. Even if said driver couldn't hear a word he said.

We drove the rest of the way in comfortable silence.

* * *

We were in the suburbs now. Gosh, we were so close now...and fourteen minutes late. Kakashi's office wasn't far, just another seven minutes down the road. Hopefully he wouldn't rip me a new one this time.

We reached a red light, and I silently thanked God for making the driver in front of us a fast one this time. Naruto tapped his foot impatiently, watching the lights with hawk eyes, as though the force will magically turn it green. But people were still crossing the street, taking their time.

I took a deep breath in to keep my temper. And as though God answered my prayers, the light turned green, and one last girl was crossing the street. She was only two feet away from the pavement, but before she could take another step, a car suddenly appeared from the left, at full speed. My eyes widened as the driver hit the girl.

Time seemed to freeze in time. My heart beat erratically against my ribcage, and as the car zoomed away by turning to the next lane, the girl just about got thrown into the air before falling to the ground with a great _thud _that I could hear from behind closed windows.

'Crap.' Naruto swore. 'Crap, crap, crap!' I shoved the car door open and heard him do the same. I rushed over to the fallen girl carefully dodging traffic, and getting to my knees. Her forehead was bleeding and her lip was split.

'Oh my goodness! Is she okay?' The driver, now I realized a woman, who was in the car in front of us ran over, a hand to her mouth.

Naruto gave me hard push. 'Hurry up, you idiot, do something!'

* * *

'Sasuke, where on earth are you?' The anger in Kakashi's voice was evident through the phone.

'I'm at the hospital,' I answered calmly, leaning back in my seat in the hospital corridor.

'And what are you doing there?'

'This girl got hit by a car and I had to bring her here. She's in pretty bad condition,' I said honestly, rubbing my eyes with my palm. 'I swear I was just five minutes away from your office when it happened. And I called to ask if you're still available or if we should postpone the appointment.'

'Postpone, postpone, postpone,' Naruto chanted in the seat next to mine, mouth close to my ear as he listened in on the conversation. Kakashi sighed, 'no, I'm available right now, still. If you can, just leave the girl and come here. You did what you had to.' He said.

I nodded. 'Okay. The doctor will call her family and I'll just come over now.'

'See you in a bit.' And he hung up.

Naruto groaned and hit his head against the wall. 'This guy won't leave you alone.'

I didn't respond as I spotted the woman driver come around the corner. She searched the corridor before her eyes found me and she quickly walked over. 'The doctor said she's fine. A few scratches and bruises, maybe a fractured arm and the gashes on her head aren't as bad as it seemed. Luckily the bastard didn't hit her head on, or she could've broken her back.' She said.

I nodded. 'Have they called her family?' I asked.

She showed me a phone she held in her hand. 'They have. Apparently her name is Haruno Mika and her relatives should be here shortly.'

I held back a sigh of relief. 'That's great. I'm really sorry, but I have an appointment to get to, is it alright if I leave?' I told her apologetically.

She smiled. 'Of course, dear. I'll stay here and wait for her family. You could leave if you need to be somewhere.'

I nodded. 'Thank you.'

* * *

**HARUNO SAKURA**

When I found out that Mika was hit by a car, I flipped my lid, nearly falling off of my bed in the dormitories and knocking the lamp off the side drawers.

'What?! Is she okay?' I asked Dad frantically over the phone.

'Yes, she's alright. Not in any critical condition, your mother and I are at the hospital right now. Don't worry Sakura, the doctor says she'll be fine.' He told me calmly.

'So what now? Should I come down? I'll be there tonight—' I began, but he cut me off.

'No,' he said sharply. 'Mika is fine. There's no point coming now since she's still unconscious anyway. She'll stay in hospital tonight while the police track down the car plate number. You can come on the weekend, Sakura. Focus on your studies for now.' He ordered sternly, using the Dad voice.

I scowled at poster of pi digits on the opposite wall of the room. 'Okay, if you say so. Let me know how she is when she wakes up.' I muttered.

'Love you, sweetie,' Dad mended gruffly before the line went blank. I dropped the phone onto the floor and threw myself back onto my pillow. If Mika was in serious condition, Dad would have told me to come immediately without question. So she must be fine. But a part of my mind worried crazily over her. Our brother, Kiba, used to often joke that Delilah and I were connected by our brains because we were identical.

In the past during situations of trouble, when Kiba and I tried to comfort Mika, or when she and Kiba tried comforting me, one of us would snap at him and tell him to back off.

_What would you understand of her problem? _we'd say. _You're just her brother. _And then we'd point our thumbs to our chest and proudly say _I'm her _twin. Then he'd just laugh and leave us alone to comfort each other.

'Sakura!' A voice hollered just as the dorm room door flung open and Ino waltzed in. She had a foolish grin on her face as she jumped on her bed and gave a big sigh, clutching a piece of paper to her chest, crunching it in the process.

'I did it,' she said happily.

I turned to look at her. 'Did what?'

Expectedly, she chucked the piece of paper at me, but it landed lamely on the floor between our beds. Picking it up, I read the content and found myself smiling.

'Wow, you did it, Ino, you aced the assignment. Well done,' I congratulated.

She put a hand to her chest and closed her eyes, nodding solemnly. 'After all the blood, sweat and tears I put into it, all the passion that I poured into that assignment, I got an A. Hundred. Pass. Call it what you will. I _passed_.'

I was genuinely happy for her. Ever since I forced her to take psychology classes with me this year, she's been barely passing or just failing every exam and assignments she's been through. Ino's a mathematician (hence the pi chart poster on her wall), so psychology was definitely not her territory.

But this one assignment she decided to stay up all night to do, even skipped dinner to finish it, she's passed. And she's content. Which made me content. Happy Ino usually meant happy roommate. And if your roommate at uni is happy, so are you.

Deciding not to spoil her moment by telling her about Mika, I stood up from my bed.

'I've got class in twenty minutes; I've got to go, love. See you later.' Mika still on my mind, I gathered my books from my desk and fixed my attire before stepping out of my dorm.

The uni dormitories were two streets away from campus, and just about everybody in here was some sort of education snob. You had to work like a human calculator, write a ten thousand word essay under three hours, or be able to recount each historical source of both world wars to be able to be accepted here. Fortunately for me, my scholarship from high school and exceptional skills at understanding psychology earned me a right to sit at the kitchen table downstairs and not be greased at during breakfast and dinner.

Passing by Aya and Chizuru, two mathematic snobs who knew pi to the four hundred and fifty seventh digit, in the hall, I smiled at them. They weren't too bad I suppose, since they smiled back, if not grimly.

* * *

The next day, Mum called me while I was sitting at a cafe on campus and told me that Mika was better and conscious. I begged to have her let me talk to her, and thank God she never sounded better as she answered my questions.

'How are you feeling?

'Just fine.'

'Does anywhere hurt?'

'Just my heart, since I haven't seen my twin all week.'

'Should I come tonight?'

'No, I'm with Mum and Dad and Tim is here,' she answered, Tim being her first and longest ever boyfriend (four years and seven months).

'Are you able to walk?'

'Like a postman on the rush.'

'Mika, are you _okay_?'

'I'm just fine, Sakura. How are you?'

I laughed in relief as she innocently responded.

'I'm so glad. Gosh, if you died on me, I would have brought you back and killed you myself.'

'Good thing I'm not dead then,' I sensed that she was grinning. 'Listen, babe, I got to go now. Doctor came to check up. I'll talk to you soon, okay?'

'I love you,' I told her suddenly, just in case she had a cardiac arrest tonight and all I'll see on the weekend is her corpse on a metal table.

She laughed. 'I love you more.' And then she hung up, and I put my phone down. Good God, as long as she was okay, I'd be okay.

'That's quite the love relationship you have there,' a voice mused from behind me, and I jumped in fright, only to realize it was Ino. She grinned, taking a seat opposite of mine. 'If I didn't know Mika had a boyfriend, and that you perve guys with glasses, I'd say you were lovers.'

I winked. 'I don't perve. I _observe_ guys with glasses.' I corrected.

She waved it off. 'Why didn't you tell me about Mika? Was she in an accident?'

I nodded. 'Yeah, but it wasn't too serious. Didn't want to worry you.'

She snorted. 'Sakura, please. I'm on a high that nobody could take me off for weeks.'

I mentally agreed. Ino tended to get on her high horse when she got high for her courses. Of course, that's not to say I didn't. God, when I got high, I grew a head so big I can knock people over when I'm walking down the street were it actually visible.

Before I could reply, a sharp movement behind Ino caught my eye, and when I looked at it, I realized it was a person—a male person. He was tall, almost lanky, and maybe a few years older than me. Ino always said it was freaky how I noticed many details in the moment I saw a person. But it was part of psychology, making it only my second nature. So when I noticed this guy's shoulder-length ebony hair, his double ear piercing and wide obsidian eyes, I didn't think much of it. Until I registered a second later that he was staring straight at me with those eyes, his mouth set in a thin line, expression aghast and almost shocked. I frowned. Why did he look so surprised? I ran a hand through my hair to see if there was a spider or a cockroach on my head, or a bee on my shoulder. But nothing.

And just like that, the guy disappeared, turning back and rushing into the crowd of students.

* * *

**UCHIHA SASUKE**

I held the bottle of medication in my hand, weighing it in my palm. It felt heavy, since I hadn't taken any of the pills Kakashi had prescribed. Not until now. Ending my contemplation, I unscrewed the lid and shook out two pills into my hand.

'What are you doing?' A voice disturbed. Naruto sat on my desk, watching me gravely, gaze switching between my face and the pills. 'It's back.' I mumbled. 'Forgive me.'

He shook his head. 'What for?'

A glass of water sat on my bedside, and I reached out to it, raising the pills to my lips.

'I thought the hallucinations won't come back. I should have listened to Kakashi. Or this wouldn't be happening. I'm sorry, Naruto,' I said grimly.

He smirked. 'No worries, Sasuke,' he swung his legs casually, leaning back on his hands on the desk. 'After all, like I said, it'll take a lot more than those couple of pills to get rid of me.'

'How many more?' I asked, the words familiar on my tongue since I had asked the very same question just yesterday in the car.

'As long as you still want me around, a lot more.'

Taking that as a confirmation, I threw the pills into my mouth and gulped down the water.

* * *

**_Hmmmm. How's that for chapter one? Good? Bad? Boring? Yeah, probably. It'll get better, I promise. It took me a while to write this, so hopefully it's alright and not confusing or anything. Ask me if something doesn't make sense. And as mature Naruto is acting, this fic is going to delve into darker themes and having a hypo Naruto just won't work, if you know what I mean _****_J_**

**_Let me know what you think!_**


	3. Chapter Two

**CHAPTER TWO**

* * *

**UCHIHA SASUKE**

* * *

My memories of before I found out about my schizophrenia were quite fresh in my memories. In all honesty, anything with Naruto felt fresh to me. But after when I was eighteen, when I began to visit Kakashi frequently, everything was hazy. I could only summarise what happened in the last five years of my life, and most of it was spent in group therapy and hospitals and Kakashi's office.

When I claimed recovery when I was twenty, I was finally allowed to attend university normally, even though I didn't know what to do with my life. It was my last year in Bachelor of Arts, and I had to choose what I wanted to do next year, real soon. It was ridiculous that at the age of twenty-four, I was still at loss for career choices.

Naruto had given a long list of suggestions, but none that would suit what I was interested in. I thought of my future quite often in recent times, but now, since two days ago, all I could think about was whether I would have to drop out of school again to go back to therapy.

It was a frightening feeling, if I was honest. The idea of going back to the times when I spent my days in the dark recesses of my mind, lost in my own thoughts and Naruto's condolences, was a concept I was afraid of more than I would like to admit.

Because although I was schizophrenic, Kakashi had diagnosed me with severe depression because of the rough time I was going through.

_Therapy does that to people, it'll get all better, _he had said. And it had, but even the memories of those days felt daunting, no matter how fuzzy and blurred. My anti-depressants were added onto my already prescribed pills, and the two years I spent simply taking those and returning to my reserved self, only forced out of my shell during group therapies, were two years I would rather forget.

And I almost had. But seeing her, that _ghost _of a being, had me returning to the vicious cycle. I saw her three times in the past two days, and I wondered if she was choosing to ignore me. Which was different because other hallucinations always chose to stick to my side.

After seeing her at the cafe that day, I saw her twice under a tree in the campus gardens, studying, and once more at the university dorms that was two streets away from the university. I thanked the Almighty Being that despite her not being real, she chose to stay away from me and didn't stay at the dormitories I was staying at myself.

Every night, I took a dose of the medication, and each time, Naruto would watch me with a grave expression.

'How come I haven't seen this girl?' he asked tonight as I gulped down the water to wash the pill down.

'Because you'd rather stay in this place than join me at uni,' I said.

He dusted something off his shirt. 'I always thought I could come and help you during lectures and stuff, but you'd be too distracted by my awesomeness.'

I snorted. 'Doubtful.'

Standing up, I readied my bed as it was almost midnight and I had stayed up later than usual to start an assignment.

'Maybe she's not a fake. What if she's a lookalike? Or the girl got better and she was attending your university already?' Naruto suggested, watching me.

'Equally doubtful. The girl didn't have an injury in sight. You saw how bad she was that day; she couldn't have recovered that easily.' I reasoned, pulling off my jumper to wear a more comfortable shirt.

'Then visit the girl at the hospital tomorrow. It'd be nice anyway, since we should see how she is doing.'

'I don't even know her.' I stared at him with a frown.

Naruto shrugged. 'But you took her to the hospital, so it's only common sense to give her a visit.' He held up my mobile phone. After a moment of hesitation, I told it from him and dialled the hospital's number that I saved when I first moved here.

When the receptionist picked up, she said, 'how can I help you?'

'I was just going to inquire about a patient who was submitted on Tuesday and whether she's still in. Her name is Haruno Mika and she was in a car accident.'

'One moment, sir,' the woman paused, and there was a minute of silence, only the rustling of movement on the other end of the line, before she returned to the phone.

'Yes sir. Haruno Mika is still here. She'll be discharged on Sunday.' She informed.

'Thank you,' I said, hanging up.

'Tomorrow's Saturday,' Naruto reminded, 'meaning you have plenty of time to complete your assignment even if you visit her anyway.'

* * *

I woke up early the next day, despite it being a weekend, and getting ready, I was out of the dorms by ten o'clock. Naruto decided to tag along, and the drive to the hospital was spent in silence, both of us feeling unsettled for reasons not very clear.

What was I to do when I got there? It wouldn't matter whether the girl, Mika, was still there because it didn't erase the fact that I imagined seeing her in more places than I was comfortable with. When we reached the hospital and bought a bouquet of flowers for the patient, and found out what room and level she was in, Naruto and I entered an empty elevator.

'Would you tell Kakashi about her?' He asked once the doors closed.

'No clue. Maybe if I keep taking the pills, she'll go away after a while.'

Naruto clucked his tongue. 'And if she doesn't.'

My expression was grim. 'Then I'll tell him.'

We reached Mika's level, and as we manoeuvred through the corridors, Naruto decided to add in his own two cents. 'Maybe,' he said, keeping in step with me, 'you were just really shocked when you saw her get hit, and it sort of left that impact on your mind.'

'When'd you become a psychiatrist?' I murmured, trying not to garner attention.

'I hang around a mental person like you, isn't that enough?'

It didn't bother me as much as it should have. 'I'm mental because of you, idiot.'

He didn't respond, and we finally found the room that she was transferred to.

I paused at the door, wondering whether if it was too late to go back.

Naruto reached out a hand to knock, but I pushed it away, despite knowing it wouldn't make a sound. Knocking myself, I waited to hear a response from inside. 'Come in,' a voice called, and composing myself, I turned the knob and pushed the door open.

The girl sat up in the hospital bed. Her lip and forehead was stitched, a bruise and cut adorning her left eyebrow. She met my gaze, confused.

'Can we help you?' The man next to her said. He must have been her father, and he stood up. A woman sat on the opposite side of the bed, and it could have only been her mother because there was a stunning resemblance between the two women.

'Good morning,' I started, 'I'm Uchiha Sasuke. I brought Miss Haruno to the hospital on Tuesday. Unfortunately I had to leave early and thought I'd visit to see how she was doing.'

The man relaxed. 'I see. Come in.'

I stepped in, closing the door behind me. 'Let me take that,' the mother smiled at me and stood up to take the flowers. I nodded appreciatively.

'Thank you so much for bringing me here. You've been of great help,' Mika spoke. Her voice was clear and soft.

'No problem at all.'

Her father gestured to the seat beside his. 'Do sit down.'

Naruto lingered in the corner, observing us all.

'We are very grateful to you for bringing our daughter to the hospital, Mr Uchiha,' Mr Haruno started.

'Please, call me Sasuke. And it was only my duty.'

My eyes fell on Mika again, and I felt apprehensive seeing her in such a state when I had seen an identical of her completely uninjured just a day ago.

'How are you feeling?' I inquired, feeling the need to be polite.

'I'm much better than when I first woke up. It's not as bad as it looks.'

'That's a relief.'

They asked innocent questions, like how old I was and whether I was studying, and what subject. I answered there questions, gratified that they attempted to make conversation. Thankfully, the Haruno family realized that I wasn't the most talkative of people or most civil, and although I did my best to be respectful, they seemed to not mind my antisocial behaviour. 'Where were you heading when the car hit me?' Mika asked.

'I was on my way to an appointment.'

'Oh,' she looked worried, 'I hope I didn't make you miss your appointment.'

I shook my head. 'All was well. I made it.'

Just then, a person entered the room and the sight of her my blood freeze in my veins.

'Sorry about the wait, the line was long.' It was the girl I saw, holding a tray of foam coffee cups.

'It is fine darling,' Mrs Haruno assured, getting her cup from the tray.

The girl handed a cup to Mr Haruno and Mika as well, and I attempted to hold in my surprise as she looked at me. I glanced at Mika in the bed, and back at the girl.

Mika laughed, 'Sakura, this is Sasuke. He's the one who brought me to the hospital.'

Siblings.

Sisters.

Twins.

I didn't dare look at Naruto in case his expression reflected my own.

'Hello,' Sakura said, giving me a hand to shake, but recognition sparked in her eyes, like she had seen me before. Reaching out tentatively, I shook it, nodding.

Realizing she didn't have a place to sit, I stood up.

'I should be leaving,' I stated.

'You could stay longer if you have nowhere to be,' the girls' father suggested.

'I wouldn't want to be of inconvenience, Mr Haruno. I'll take my leave now.'

I turned to Mika. 'Hopefully you'll get better soon.'

She smiled sweetly. 'Thank you so much for what you've done.'

'Anytime.'

I opened the door to exit, but the girl, Sakura, followed me. 'I'll see you out.'

A part of me told me to tell her to stay put and mind her own business, but common sense told me to shut up and calm down.

So she followed me out, and we walked in silence. I could sense Naruto behind us, and he usually wasn't a slow walker, so he must have been assessing her carefully.

'Thank you for bringing my sister here.' Sakura attempted small talk.

'Like I said, no problem. Anybody would have done the same.'

'I want to say thank you anyway.'

There was a hesitation in her voice, and I knew she had something to say.

'I saw you earlier this week,' she said when we reached the elevator.

Keeping my cool, I feigned ignorance.

'Did you?'

She nodded. 'You go to Konoha University, right? I saw you in the food court.'

The first time I saw her. She must have noticed me watching.

'You were staring right at me.'

Naruto joined us in the elevator, keeping quiet. I glanced at him for a moment before looking away. Pressing the button to the ground level, I said, 'You must have me confused with someone else.'

'No, I don't.'

'And how do you know?'

She pointed at my ear. 'I noticed your piercings.'

'I don't remember.' I alleged.

She raised a brow. 'Really? I could have sworn you looked spooked when you saw me. But I think I know why now. Mika's accident was the day before, so you must have thought I was her. Am I right?'

I didn't answer, and she nudged my shoulder. I stared at her incredulously.

'You're bold.'

'You're stubborn.'

'Speak for yourself.'

The elevator doors opened again and I stepped out, turning only shortly to say, 'I'll leave now. You can go back up.'

She watched me, her eyes analysing, which was slightly irritating because I hated being analysed. Many professionals analysed me over the years, and Kakashi still analysed me whenever we saw each other. If anything, it looked like they were trying to push me out of my comfort zone, and I wanted to snap at her to keep her eyes to herself.

'So what are you studying?' she asked suddenly, ignoring my statement.

This was it. This was what spooked me. At times I wondered if I had an invisible sign on my back that said 'I NEED HELP' in bold letters. This was one of those times because this girl wasn't being polite or conversing. She was still _analysing, searching, _and I wanted to punch her.

The nerves were returning, bringing back unwanted memories and images of my medication fizzed through my mind. White rooms and the smell of disinfectant and doctors in coats and masks. There were feelings in the depths of my mind that began to resurface, increasing as the seconds passed, and it was so _familiar _and though they were feelings of despair and hopelessness and pure _darkness, _it was _familiar _and I felt like I was in my territory. In my forte. In the dull and emotionless pit of my pathetic self that I would willingly go back to, because I knew what I had to do. It was painful there, but it felt like a home, a place that accepted me. Which was ridiculous because it was in my own mind, and all it did was create a bubble to segregate and separate me from the rest of the world? It protected me. But from _what?_

Naruto put a hand on my shoulder, and I didn't realize how intensely I was staring at Sakura as I got lost in my thoughts. But enough was enough. The only one who could beat me is me.

'Good bye,' I said firmly, and walked out the hospital. Hearing fast footsteps behind me, I slowed down so Naruto could catch up.

'So are you glad now?' He asked.

'What for?'

'You know she's not a hallucination now. It's good we visited. You don't have to take the pills tonight.'

I smirked. 'That's your only worry.'

He doesn't say anything again, and I watch him from the corner of my eye. He's thinking, which was rare for a man like Naruto. He preferred not to think, more like act. But in times like these, when he did little to retort to what I say, or not react during drastic situations, I knew there was something on his mind. But old habits die hard because a short time later, he would always express his thoughts.

When we got into the car and I started it up, revving and driving onto the main road, he finally spoke. 'Did it bring up some unwanted things?'

'What are you talking about?' Perhaps he didn't notice the way my arms tensed on the wheel.

'That girl. She looked at you the way Kakashi does. I know you don't like it, so don't feel the need to say you don't care.'

'I don't.'

Naruto sighed, slumping in his chair.

'I don't want it to be like that again,' he said.

I knew what he was talking about.

'It's not going to be like that again, what bull are you spewing?'

'I'm serious, Sasuke. Falling back into depression could trigger the hallucinations again, and I don't want you to go through that once more.'

I turned to a corner and stopped the car. The motor died down and we both stared ahead.

'It's not going to be like that. I don't want to go back either, and if I don't want to, I won't.'

'Don't bullshit me, you bastard,' Naruto snapped sharply, turning to glare at me.

'If you think I can't read you, you're fooling yourself. I saw the way you acted back there. Like you were slipping away. I can _read _you, Sasuke. And I know when you start feeling tired. And I know that as much as you hated it, you wouldn't mind falling back into depression. Do you want to go back to the hospital? They'll treat you like a nutcase again and before you know it, Ayane will be back on your bed counting sheep like she never left.'

Slamming my hands against the wheel, I inhaled. 'You forget that you're just like Ayane. You idiot, nothing's changed. Just because she and the others are gone, it doesn't mean I'm normal again.'

'Why not?'

'Because you're still here.'

There was a strained silence, only the sound of cars passing by was audible to our ears.

I'm finally faced him, and we stared at each other in fuming glares.

'When are you going to accept,' he said lowly, 'that I'm real. If you want me here, I'm _real _damnit, and it's your choice. Either get rid of me or keep me. I'm here for you. And I'll continue you to be for as long as you want me to. I'm _real _and I'm _here_ for you.'

He turned his body forward and leaned against the seat. 'Hurry up. Let's go back.'

'You can go back whenever you want, so feel free to leave, I never asked for you to be here,' I sneered.

Naruto clenched his teeth, and when I finally revved the car and got back on the road, he was gone. There was relief and disappointment all at once, and it confused the life out of me to be so dependent on a nonexistent being. So I let him slip out of my mind, joining the list of things I should give a shit about but I really don't.

* * *

When I got home, Naruto still wasn't there, and I busied myself with my new assignment, researching my information and getting my sources together. When it came to a specific part, I had to go to the library and borrow a book. After borrowing it, I dropped by a cafe and ordered a coffee to relieve some stress.

It was almost dinnertime when I was finished, and I bought some Chinese food to take back to the dormitories. Naruto wasn't in sight, but I let it go. He'd come back when he felt calmer. It was better to keep apart, so we could both clear our thoughts, but if anything, his lack of presence had a more negative effect than a positive one.

It was rare for me to go many hours without him. The longest I hadn't seen him was when I was at a group therapy weekend camp and he told me I would concentrate better without him there. But after that, we rarely spent six hours apart. So when the clock finally struck midnight, I put away all my books and assignment materials, packed away the Chinese food and turned off the light only to turn on my lamp.

But just as I got into bed, I noticed a bottle of pills on the bedside that I failed to see before. It wasn't the pills I was taking recently, and when I read the note that was attached to it, I clenched my fists.

_Just take one. Try not to think too much_

_-N_

The prescription of the bottle was labelled as anti-depressants, and I knew I shouldn't have, but I uncapped the lid and took one anyway, swallowing it down dry. Naruto was no doctor or professor so listening to his advice felt ludicrous, but his was my friend. My only friend and if anybody knew what I felt, it was him.

* * *

**HARUNO SAKURA**

* * *

There was something wrong with Ino. When I got home from the hospital, it was almost past six, and though she told me she had eaten already, the students at the dining table that she wasn't there for dinner. I knew I shouldn't jump to conclusions, so I while we were studying in our dorms; I pulled out a block of chocolate from my drawer and offered it to her. She took it gratefully, and I held back a sigh of relief.

But why would she lie? Maybe she had takeout food instead.

Thinking of reasons in my mind, I managed to calm myself down, but there was still the fear that she'd stop eating. Or start throwing up what she ate.

Ino hasn't relapsed in a good five years, but the doctor said that she could start again any moment since she hadn't received the treatment willingly. It was for her own good, since she looked like a 41kg walking corpse, but Ino hated every minute. Until this very day she would still say all the psychologists and pills were unnecessary.

When we got into the same university, Ino's parents entrusted her to me and made me promise I would make sure she would eat regularly. And it was fine so far, but the fact that I wasn't always with her left an impression in my mind that she would continue to vomit in the bathroom.

'So how was Mika?' Ino asked as we worked on our separate studies at our respective desks.

'She's better than I expected. Chirpy as ever.' I replied.

'Hmm, that's good. People fall into comas from hits, you know? She should count her lucky stars.'

I wholeheartedly agreed, but the man that was in her hospital room still lingered in my mind.

Sasuke.

There was something about him that was different, and not in a positive way. I still couldn't understand why he looked so shocked when he saw me at the cafe during the week, and why he denied the fact today. He stared at an empty space in the elevator, as though concentrating on something else for a split second. I had to admit it sparked my curiosity, but he refused to answer my questions.

Perhaps I made him uncomfortable, though his demeanour said he was the type to be anything but.

But on the other hand, my instincts never proved me wrong, not yet, and I wanted to know about him.

_Stop trying to stroke your ego and keep out of the man's business, _a voice in my head advised wisely. Some called the voice my conscience, others my alter ego, but whatever she was, she wasn't agreeing with my instincts. So I ignored her and made plans to find Sasuke tomorrow.

* * *

_**So there's the second chapter for y'all, I don't have time to edit, so hopefully not too many grammatical mistakes.**_

_**Let me know what you think, and don't worry, things will be more interesting when the couple get closer. **_

_**And you might have noticed that I didn't mention Sasuke's depression in the first chapter or the prologue, and it's because there's a lot of Sasuke's past I have to reveal still, so don't be surprised if more things come out **_

_**Leave a review?**_


	4. Chapter Three

**CHAPTER THREE**

* * *

**YAMANAKA INO**

* * *

There is something sickeningly beautiful about throwing up the food you eat

It gives you a peace of mind, leaves some empty space in your stomach, and calms you down. At first, it was disgusting. I could barely stand the sight of my own spit when I brushed my teeth, let alone see the food I consumed being drained down the sink. But after a while, it was a way of escape.

Others would cut themselves, break things, scream, swear, and bite down on their hands, all to stop anger and frustration. But I preferred to chuck up my dinner. It was more beneficial in a way. Or that was how it begun.

My stomach was always upset when I was a teenager, and I would vomit every now and then to ease the ache. But after a while, after reading magazines and watching model shows made me want to fit into a size 6 or 4. It was an innocent thought, but it easily progressed until I dropped from 49kg to 41kg in a matter of months.

When I finally collapsed and was taken to the doctor, he told my parents I needed to eat. It was a disgusting feeling; trying to fit food into a stomach that had shrunken too much. And unwillingly, I put on the weight all over again.

I drowned myself in self-loathing over the years, and even now, I hate myself for letting the doctors fill me up. But it had ruined my life, this threatening and mocking disorder. I lost everything, and only Sakura and my parents stood by me. The regret would take over me whenever I saw Sakura's concern, and even now, I wonder whether it affected her enough to make her want to lose weight as well.

I hated it so much. The need to wallow in my self-hatred increased by every meal until this very day, but I refrained for Sakura, if not for myself. But I wasn't strong enough to tackle it, not when I was willing to let myself go.

Anorexia and bulimia that had taken over my life are the two things that I was yet to figure out. Everything had an equation. The most basic and the most complex structures of life had a formula, and they all made sense. But these two inner _demons _were unrelenting, and I knew I could fight. But could it even be called a battle if I was losing against myself?

As I wiped my mouth and looked into the mirror of the university campus' bathroom, I let out a sigh. Splashing water onto my face to calm myself down, I turned off the tap and put my hands against the sink.

I watched myself in the mirror, and the monstrosity in the mirror stared back, glaring at me with such ferocity it might as well have shattered the glass. A knock came on the bathroom door.

'Ino, I know you're in there. Open up.'

I could easily ignore him. But the toilet cubicles were empty and there was nobody else in here. Shikamaru had seen me leave my lecture, probably followed me all the way here.

'I'm coming.' I said clearly, not allowing my voice to choke up.

Grabbing my book bag, I dried my face with some paper towel and chucked them in the disposal bin. When I pushed the door open and stepped out of the bathroom, I saw Shikamaru lean against the brick wall of the building.

He stared at me, gaze careful.

'Does Sakura know?' he asked.

I didn't dare let myself stiffen up. 'Know what?'

He took my bag from me, slinging it over his shoulder, despite the weight of the books inside. Grabbing my hand in his, he entwined our fingers. He didn't say anything as we walked around campus, but it was obvious he knew.

And it was obvious he would tell Sakura very soon.

Shikamaru and I weren't a couple. A lot of people mistook us as one, but we really weren't. Not yet anyway.

Shikamaru, Sakura and I went to the same high school, and while Sakura and I weren't really acquainted with him, he was the only person in our year level who also went to the same university. And he was the only person here other than my best friend who knew about my past sickness. We might not have taken much interest in each other as first, but the chemistry grew, the attraction increased, but neither of us stepped over the fine line. We were more than friends, but were frightened to be lovers.

Never over the years had Shikamaru made a comment on my anorexia, not in high school, nor here, at uni. He knew, but never asked, maybe because he didn't want to make me uncomfortable, or maybe because he knew the dangers of bringing it up. And that was what I loved about him. I didn't need to say anything to let him know, and he didn't need to ask to confirm.

But I suppose, in the end, life was about finding people whose demons played well with your own.

* * *

**SASUKE**

* * *

She's stalking me.

Well, not quite _stalking. _More like, watching me with hawk eyes whenever I passed by.

I didn't understand how I did not see Haruno Sakura before. Or maybe I did, but I didn't actually notice her until now. She appeared in more places than I'd like, and it was ridiculous that I'd see her so many times a week.

I tried noticing someone I hadn't before, and taking note of how many times I saw them after that. It failed because I never really saw them again.

But Sakura. She was everywhere I was, and I was everywhere she was. Whenever it happened, she'd stare me down whenever we saw each other, and she made no attempt to hide it either.

It was three weeks since I had visited Mika in the hospital, and two days since I last saw Naruto. Things were a little sour between us still, but he disappeared often and would come back a few hours later without warning.

More often than not, I wondered whether he wouldn't just disappear on me completely, but he always came back. The tension between us didn't mean we didn't talk like usual, because we did. He just wasn't around me as often such as when I was out in the city or at a cafe, only staying around when I was at home or while I was driving.

I deserved the treatment I suppose, since I had basically told him to piss off after visiting Mika. We didn't talk about it yet, but he did ask whether I had taken the depressants that night.

'Is she stalking you?' Naruto asked when I told him I saw Sakura again today.

'I don't know.' I answered honestly, because for all I knew, she was.

'A little OCD on her part,' he muttered.

I sighed. 'It's fine.'

* * *

The next morning, I realized that it _wasn't fine._

'Are you following me?' I snapped at Sakura as she dropped to her knees to pick up her books that had fallen when she ran into me in the car park.

I barely left my car and she slammed straight into me like a confused chicken.

'No,' she said calmly, giving me a weird look.

Frustrated, I bent down and picked up my own textbooks, arranging them.

'Stay away from me,' I warned.

She rolled her eyes. 'Because I have nothing better to do than stick around an old grump like you.'

We both stood, and I was ready to tell off every inch of her life, because if I was honest, she made me shit nervous and fidgety.

'You didn't answer my question last time,' she reminded.

'What question?' I sneered, fully aware of the answer.

'You don't need to. I figured it out myself anyway.' She stared pointedly at me. 'You're studying Bachelor of Arts. I'd say you're a little old to still be in that course but,' she shrugged, 'each to their own.'

I glared, my pride slightly insulted, not even wondering how the hell she even knew what course I was currently studying.

'I started university late.'

'How come?'

Shit.

'None of your fucking business.'

She raised a brow, suppressing a smile. 'You have quite the potty mouth there.'

I turned away, having a bigger dose of daily Sakura annoyance for the rest of the evening. Walking out of the car park, I made my way over bridge that led over a small pond that opened into the university. In attempt to lose her, I made a fast beeline towards the building my ten o'clock lecture would take place in.

Regardless of my speed, Sakura caught up to me, tagging along.

'So you're not going to ask what I'm studying.'

'I don't care,' I said rudely.

'I'll tell you instead, no need to guess. I'm doing psychology.'

Puzzle pieces started forming in my head, but I didn't let my realization show. 'Good for you. Have a very successful career.'

I walked a little faster, but it didn't faze her. Stopping suddenly, I faced her completely with a glare on my face.

'Get lost.'

'I want to ask you something,' she said matter-of-factly.

'Say it then.'

'Can you teach me how to drive?'

I blinked, taken aback.

Sakura shifted her books in her arms. 'That was confusing. What I mean is, I need to complete 120 hours of supervision driving before I can get my red Ps. My parents are super busy and they don't have time to supervise my driving and everyone else around me is my age and your supervisor has to be older.'

'You have to be kidding me.' I said frankly.

She shook her head. 'Not kidding in the least. I need a person older than me to sit with me while driving.'

'Do I look like I'm interested in an early death, much less to the cause of boredom?'

She rolled her eyes again. 'Not for free, obviously. I'll pay you. I've already done forty seven hours, so I only have seventy four hours left. You won't be with me for all of them. And I'll pay you ten dollars for every hour.'

'No.' I said plainly.

'Fifteen dollars, then,' she sad surely.

'No. As in, no, never, ever, even if you pay me a hundred per hour.'

She made a rude sound. 'I'm asking you nicely.'

'Why the hell would you ask me, go hire someone else.'

'I wouldn't trust someone else,' she said dryly.

'You don't even know me,' I pointed out, feeling my anger slowly increase.

'You saved my sister, you don't know what to do with your life and you have an older brother. That's enough for me to trust you.'

She knew too much. It was starting to get to me. She must be stalking me; there is no other way she would even know I had a brother, much less know I didn't know what to do in the future.

_Get rid of her, _a voice in my head warned, and I wholeheartedly agreed.

Shifting my weight to my other foot, I sighed. 'Listen, kid,' I started.

'I'm nineteen.'

'You're a kid,' I snapped. 'Firstly, you earn your Ps when you're eighteen and your still on your Ls, so you should have gotten your supervision when you were sixteen. Secondly, I already have a job so I don't need your pathetic money. Thirdly, even if I had spare time amongst working and studying, I wouldn't waste it on you.'

There was a pause between us, the wind being the only source of sound in my ears.

'Okay,' Sakura said finally. 'I'm sorry I asked. I shouldn't have, I'm really sorry.'

Without another word, she turned and walked away.

I watched her before she disappeared around the corner.

Before I could sigh with relief, someone hit me hard on the head.

I dropped my books again. 'What the fu-,' I turned to see a glaring Naruto.

'You impolite little shit,' he said. 'Is that what your mother taught you?'

It was absolutely ridiculous coming out of his mouth, but I couldn't respond, still surprised.

'Go apologise to her right now,' Naruto ordered.

'Get lost,' I said, picking up my books and pushing passed him, entering the building.

'Just because she scares you doesn't mean you can treat her like rubbish, Sasuke,' he scolded, following me.

'She doesn't scare me.'

'Sure she doesn't.'

I stopped, spinning around to pin him with a heavy glower. 'She doesn't.'

'Then go apologise.'

'I won't.'

'Then accept her offer.'

'In your dreams,' I sneered.

'I'm serious, Sasuke. What would Itachi say if he heard you treat a girl like that?'

'Don't use my brother on me,' I cautioned, and he scoffed.

'Nothing else seems to work.'

Resisting the urge to flip him the finger, I took the flight of stairs to the second level, and though he didn't follow me, he shouted out, 'you'll regret it!'

I blocked it out of my mind, because Naruto should have understood why I rejected the girl's offer. Damn it, I was trying not to relapse and here he was, urging me to accept to supervise a driving girl, not to mention the girl who brought back more unwanted memories than she should have.

I reached the lecture room doors, and composing myself, I pushed them open, leaving behind every other worldly problem, namely ones called Haruno Sakura and Naruto.

* * *

_**Yes, I know it is short and pretty crappy, but the first like, what, five chapters of a story are always pretty uneventful. And I didn't want to leave this update to too late this time because things have been getting hard.**_

_**Since I find it hard to rage at people around me, I'll let my anger out on this website:**_

_**My cat died this week. He was barely one year old and he fucking died on me. I took him in when he was sick as a kitten and I would have bloody married him if he was human. He was the most gentle and patient and most loving cat I ever owned, and trust me, I owned many**_

_**I'm suspecting one of my neighbours poisoned him because the motherfuckers both own millions of pigeons and Sebastian (my cat) killed quite a few. But fucking hell, you can't expect a male cat to just sit around while both houses around us own pigeons that sit on the fence. It's like dangling a bone in front of a dog for fucks sake. Its natural for him to hunt some pigeons down. I personally found one pigeon injured and felt terrible, but that doesn't give anyone the right to poison my fucking cat.**_

_**Sebastian brought in a female friend some months ago, and she became ours as well and she gave birth to four kittens nine weeks ago. The problem with this is that Sebastian died three days ago and at the very same time, one of the kittens became very lethargic and she can't even walk now. I'm suspecting she licked the poison that killed Sebastian, and I swear, if she dies on me too, I'm going to become a serial killer and murder both my neighbours for taking my dearest cats away from me, whether they did it or not**_

_**The night before Sebastian died, I was heating some hair removal wax and when I took it out of the microwave the fucking wax blew up and burnt my face, so I was rushed to hospital and I now look like a survivor out of an arson attack with a burnt cheek and chin. They are superficial burns, but the next day I was wondering how Sebastian would react to the burn, only to find him fucking dead in the veggie patch. I couldn't stop crying for 45 minutes straight, snot and hiccups and everything**_

_**So as you can see, I've had the worst fucking week of my life with one cat dead, one kitten sick and me with a scarred face.**_

_**I thought I could vent out here because venting out on other people would be wussy.**_

_**Anyway, I didn't edit the chapter cos it's late at night here and I need to tend to homework and my kitten, so hopefully there aren't too many grammatical mistakes. And my shitty week is also the reason there were so many swear words in this chapter, so sorry.**_

_**Kudos to all**_


	5. Chapter Four

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN NARUTO**

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR**

* * *

**SASUKE**

* * *

'So how've you been feeling since the last time I've seen you?' Kakashi asked, turning his turning chair from side to side as he observed me with a knowing smile.

'What do you think?'

'Angry. Something must have happened for you to be walking around with a heavy scowl that scares off every human being. Not that the normal one didn't do the job already.'

I shifted in my chair to get comfortable, but I felt fidgety today.

'Constantly moving is a sign of stress,' Kakashi informed.

I nodded. 'I know.'

'So what's been stressing you out?'

Undeniably, I trusted Kakashi. He was a genuine, kind and caring man, if not a bit on the loony side. He was the only person besides Naruto I have talked to so openly about everything to...except about Naruto. So when he asked the question, I only felt obliged to answer truthfully.

'It's about this girl.' I said.

He raised his eyebrows. 'You got rejected by a girl?'

I shook my head. 'No, not like that.'

Silence.

'Well?'

I sighed, shifting again. 'I met this girl some months ago, and she's been stressing me out. I thought she was a hallucination at first, and it sort of startled me so seeing her now irks me every time now.'

'Why did you think she was?'

With little pause, I explained the story of Mika and the car accident, and seeing Sakura straight after, as well as at the hospital. Kakashi listened without interrupting, tapping a pen against his chin and nodding when necessary.

'Recently, she asked me to help her with her Ls. Supervise her driving to finish her hours.'

'And what did you say?'

'I told her to piss off.'

Kakashi barked a laugh. 'That was rude.'

I shrugged. 'Why did she ask me of all people? She's studying me, I swear it. It was just an excuse to an ulterior motive.'

Amused, Kakashi leaned forward. 'Aren't you reading too much into this, Sasuke?'

'No,' I said without hesitance.

'Maybe she wants to be your friend?'

'And I want to be the king of England,' I said dryly.

'Come on, Sasuke. If you've confirmed she's real, she's practically harmless. Something is only a threat to you because you let them be one.' There it was again.

_You don't know anything, Sasuke. You're crazy, you're not stable, and so you don't really understand._

_No, _I think bitterly, _it is all of you who don't understand._

Holding back a sigh, I averted my gaze to the rest of the room. Paintings of all sorts adorned the walls, and I decided I liked them. I was never a person for visual art like this; oil paintings and sketches meant very little to me, but it did not make me appreciate them any less. Memories of high school came back, when we sat in Year 8, trying to decipher Pablo Picasso's _Guernica,_ and why the artist did not explain the meaning behind it before his death. It was a pointless painting in my opinion, but once our teacher explained the history behind it, and the representations in the actual piece, I thought it wasn't as bad as I first thought it was. It did not make me dislike it as a piece of art, but I recognised the effort artists put into their work if it meant something, _anything._

Kakashi followed my line of sight, and smirked when he saw the painting of _Starry Night. _

'Do you like Vincent Van Gogh?' he questioned. 'I never thought you were the type.'

'I'm not.' I amended.

'It's not a very nice painting, is it? I've certainly seen better.' he mused, hand moving to his chin in contemplation.

'Do you paint?' I asked, glad for the change of topic.

'In fact, yes I do.'

I raised a brow. 'Never pegged you as an artist.'

'I'm not. It's just a hobby. You'd be surprised how fulfilling it is to paint something. It relieves a lot of stress.'

'I didn't know you were stressed.'

Kakashi laughed heartedly. 'You aren't the only stressed person in the world, Uchiha Sasuke.'

'I'm not stressed.' I said plainly.

'Of course not. That's why we've been discussing a certain girl who has been stressing you out recently.'

Kakashi was always good at this. Reverting a conversation back to what he wanted to talk about. He was a conversationalist, and damn he was good. The master speech. He knew what to say, how to say it, and how to get what he wanted. It was his guilty pleasure, I could tell.

'So what do I do?' I finally gave in. Better give him what he wanted early before the sense of victory really settled down.

'Apologise.'

'No,' I declined flatly. My anger was building slowly. Like an empty glass cup with water dripping into it, drop by drop.

'Then accept her offer. Supervise her driving.'

He was beginning to sound like Naruto.

'I don't want to be near her.'

'Well, the only way to stop being afraid of her is to get nearer. Our enemies are much scarier from afar.'

'I'm not afraid of her,' I gritted my teeth.

Kakashi looked at the time on the clock and smirked. 'Time's up. See you next time with a little more progress, I hope.'

* * *

During my break between lectures, I decided to visit art workshop. I don't know what made me do it. Maybe it was the revelation of Kakashi's love for art, or the memories of high school that made me want to look at some pieces put together by university students.

The workshop was over, but people were lingering in the halls of the art department, gazing at the arts hung up on the wall. Very little caught my attention as I walked through the hall, taking slow, deliberate steps in attempt to not rush through things.

I stopped in front of a classroom, noticing a young man sitting inside. His hair was pulled into a high ponytail, and he was looking down at his sketchbook thoughtfully as he sat on a desk. He didn't appear many years younger than me, and his maturity gleamed off of him like an aura.

Unknowingly, I pushed the door open and stepped inside.

'Can I help you?' he said, not looking up.

I looked around the room. It was small, full of art and canvases and shelves of paint and brushes and equipment. The air smelt of oil paint, assaulting my nose.

When I didn't respond, the young man looked up, a lazy stare falling on me.

'Can I help you?' He repeated.

It was then it occurred to me I entered the room without a real reason. 'No, I just came in to look at the paintings.'

'There's plenty outside.'

'I'm picky.'

He rolled his eyes and looked back down at his sketchbook.

To keep up with the excuse, I walked around the room, assessing each artwork, feeling oddly thankful I didn't have to analyse them and other people did. It didn't take long, maybe ten minutes, but by the end of it, the guy was still staring down at his work, and I thought it was a real waste of time to just stare and not do anything.

'Staring is rude,' he said suddenly.

'What are you looking at?' I questioned.

'Well come here and look, I'm not putting it up for you.'

Taking cautious steps towards him, I looked over his shoulder to the paper. It was a sketch of a girl looking out of a window pane, sunlight shining on her face. But she looked glum and in distress, her hand in her hair as she stared out.

'I don't see a problem.' I stated.

'I never said there was a problem.'

'You sure are looking at it like there is one.'

He huffed impatiently, as though frustrated at his sketch, and he set it down. 'Whatever,' he closed the book and stood up. 'The teacher told me to lock up the room after myself, so you can't stay here, sorry.' He shuffled to the door, but paused, turning his head slightly.

'Do you want to have lunch or something? Eating by yourself is really troublesome.'

There was nothing that provoked me to say yes. This guy, with a lazy look in his eye, frowning mouth and raised brow was nothing to me. But in any case, today was a day of new things, so I agreed. 'Why not.'

'I'm Shikamaru.'

'Sasuke.'

* * *

We went to a sandwich box on campus and ordered rolls. I decided I liked this guy. He was calm, rational and full of reason. His demeanour was reasonably cold, if not unwelcoming, but he was full of dark humour that almost made me smile occasionally.

'So what are you studying?' He asked, biting into his roll.

'Bachelor of Arts,' I carefully answered.

He stopped chewing for a second. 'Aren't you a little old for that course? Should have graduated already.'

'I started university late,' I said, the words familiar on my tongue as I bit into my own sandwich roll.

'So what career do you want to follow?'

'Well, I chose Bachelor of Arts to help me decide. Hasn't worked.'

He scoffed, amused.

'Life is troublesome. Got to choose a job or you'll just be left behind. We're in the world of working; you'll be wise to decide soon.'

It was advice I've heard before, more times than anyone should hear, so I chose not to comment, instead turning the spotlight on him. 'How about you? Artist?'

'That's just a hobby. I'm hoping for mathematician, maths teacher, that sort of thing.'

He certainly didn't strike me as a mathematician. Math was just a big headache, full of equations and expressions and formulas you fail to comprehend most of the time. Shikamaru didn't seem to type to dedicate himself to that sort of thing.

'Interesting,' I commented slowly.

'Maths makes sense to me, and you need very little words, so it's good. There's only so much numbers and symbols could represent.'

His eye got caught on something over my shoulder, and I twisted slightly to see what he saw. His gaze followed a girl, a blonde with books in her hand, looking as though she was in a rush. She disappeared around the corner, but there was something oddly familiar about her.

'She's the girl you sketched.'

'Aren't you attentive?'

'Crush, I'm assuming,' I went back to my sandwich.

'Something like that.'

'Girlfriend.'

'Not quite.'

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. 'She looked like a wild type to me. You've drawn her pretty depressed.' The word replays in my mind, and I shouldn't use it so lightly, but I tell myself it's a recovery method. The more I used the word, the more I was desensitised to it. Or that was the theory anyway.

'She's not depressed.' He muttered.

* * *

I got a phone call while I was studying. It was almost midnight, and Naruto was humming a tune on my bed, flipping through the daily newspaper. He stopped when it rang, and I looked at the ID.

Itachi.

I picked up.

'Hello,' I said.

'Hey, Sasuke, how've you been?'

His voice was achingly familiar, and it brought an unwilling smile to my face.

'I've been well. How about you?'

'Busy. Just got off work and thought I'd call to see how you were going.'

'I'm touched.'

'I'm sure you are,' I could hear the amusement in his voice.

Itachi was a vague part of my memory. We were seven years apart, and before he left for university in America, we were the closest brothers I could imagine to be. He was a role model, somebody I respected, but he wasn't there for the latter part of my life where I really wished he was. But work came first for lawyers, and I never held him accountable for leaving me alone. He visited Japan once a year and we always made sure to spend a month together before he left again. He never asked about Naruto.

He knew, _everyone knew_, but he was the one person who never questioned me on it, and treated me the same as ever.

We spoke for a while, and it was a relief to hear his voice after so long.

'When are you coming down?'

'In three months I'll be there. The schedule's been hectic, but I'll pull through. When are you graduating?'

'In December.'

'Finally. Not that you're anywhere near finished.'

'I think I'll just pass on uni and become a tattoo artist. All this studying isn't doing me good.'

'Do whatever you want. Join the military if that's your passion. Just because university didn't do it for you, doesn't mean you've failed.' There was a pause, a long one, where I heard Itachi shift on the other line. 'You know that, don't you, Sasuke?'

'I know.' I responded neutrally, but my aggravation was building.

The glass cup, the water in it is slowly rising. Kakashi and Shikamaru's words came to mind, and they do not help in controlling the anger. It increased more, and more. More.

'Good.'

I looked down on my desk, my assignment waiting for me, and suddenly, it was more important than my brother.

'Listen, I have to go. There's some work to finish.'

'Of course. I'll let you go.'

'See you in a few months.'

'Sure thing.'

When I put the phone down, I turned to Naruto, who was back to reading the news. 'What's the latest?' Better take my mind off it.

'Bank robbery in Kyoto is the big thing right now. Other than that, nothing interesting.' He folded the newspaper, putting it on the bedside drawers. 'This world is so dull.'

'So very unlike you to say so.'

'I agree. I've been very bored recently. Nothing good to do with you studying and working around the clock. No one to mess around with.'

'Follow me to work and annoy people to death. I'm sure that'll lift your spirit.' I picked up my pen again, going back to my notes, but the feeling began to pent up to the brim in the pit of my stomach, grating on the strings of what was left of my nerves.

'Boring.'

And just like that, the strings snapped, and I threw the pen against the wall harshly. It fell to the ground with a _thwack _and I take in a deep breath.

'You okay?' Naruto questioned, suddenly sitting up.

'Shut up,'

'Sasuke—

'I said shut up.'

Flinging from my seat, I headed to the bathroom, slamming the door after me. I leaned over the sink and turn on the tap to full blast, splashing my face with cool water. The anger wasn't dimming, and I wanted to claw at my arms in frustration. There was something wrong. There was something very fucking wrong, and whether it was depression, schizophrenia or anger management, I didn't know. I didn't _care._

I've had it with being told what to do. Being reassured that I can live normal, I'm okay when I'm not. Being reassured that my future was mine when it really wasn't. It was fucking somebody else's and I was just going through the motions. I felt helpless.

Hopeless

Angry

Useless

A pathetic excuse of a man with no real purpose.

Snapping the tap shut, I slid to the tiled floor of the bathroom, breathing heavily, trying to just fucking _calm my anger. _But the glass cup has already overflowed, and the water insisted on falling.

I hated this. I hated all of this. I had to do something about it. Something in the moment and completely out of whack. Something I haven't done before; reckless and unimaginable.

And I made up my mind. Before I can back out of it, I shoved the thoughts aside, setting up in my head a routine I was going to follow tomorrow.

* * *

**SAKURA**

* * *

It's a Wednesday morning and I'm heading to my lecture at noon when I see Shikamaru in the library and wave at him. Normally, he waved inattentively right back, but today he didn't. Instead, he gave me a look of warning, and lifted his finger, as though to say _wait_ as he picked up his books and moved towards me.

It's odd, so I approached him, and he gestured towards an empty study room.

'Is everything okay?' I asked as he closed the door behind us. The room was soundproof, and it must have been serious if he was being secretive about it. Or I was being paranoid; since the library was always quiet and anybody could hear any conversation wherever they were, and he just needed somewhere people couldn't drop ears on.

'I've been meaning to ask something,' Shikamaru started, looking expectant. But he shifted his weight to his other foot, looking strangely uncomfortable. 'Just don't misunderstand.'

I nodded. 'Okay.

'It's about Ino. When was the last time she got her period?'

I had every good mind to drop my jaw in shock. The first idea to pop into my head was that Shikamaru and Ino had finally stepped over the line of friendship a little too much, but he shakes his head at my expression. 'It's not like that.'

'Why would you need to...' but then it sinks in. Oh no.

'She's been chucking up what she's eating, and she's wearing loose clothes. I'm worried, Sakura.'

I gave it a careful thought. 'She was due last week. I don't know if she got it though. She's irregular, so it could just be late.' I knew because she always got it a week before I did, and we were equally irregular regarding our menstrual cycle.

'Is there a way you could check?' It was an awkward question, but there was no embarrassment on Shikamaru's face, just concern. And it shamed me to know that I, despite being her best friend and roommate no less, did not notice.

'I'll see. Are you sure she's vomiting?'

He nodded. 'Positive. She's constantly in the bathroom, and when you pass, you can hear her.'

There was a moment of silence between us as we fall into uncomfortable realisation. It's been too long. She couldn't relapse now, damn it. She was doing so well.

'Thank you, I'll let you know when I find out.' I said quietly.

We left the room and parted ways.

* * *

I'm tired.

God, I'm so _fucking _tired I could fall asleep standing up. Wednesdays were the busiest days of the week, with workshops, lectures and tutorials all back to back. I hadn't seen Ino all day, and it did little to ease the panic I was going through. I just wanted to go back to the dorms and go through the bathroom drawers for the period pads, or see the small dustbin to see if there were pad wrappers inside.

At seven, I'm finally let off to go home. The day is cool and there is no sun. Spring was coming soon, but the weather was quite moody in this part of the country. It was on my way over the bridge that led to the university, did a hand rest on my shoulder and make me jump so high I almost dropped my lecture bag into the pond.

'What the—

I turned to see Sasuke.

My heart was beating rapidly from the shock, my breathing heavy as I tried to relax myself.

'What is it?' I questioned hastily, trying to save face.

He stared at me indifferently, expression calm and collected. His hands fell into his pockets, and he watched me calm down.

'You done?' He asked.

I scowled. 'No thanks to you,' I got a good grip of my bag and slung it over my shoulder. 'What do you want?' Hopefully I didn't sound rude. I didn't have anything against the Uchiha. I didn't mind that he practically rejected my attempt to be friendly last time; I wasn't the type to get cut over such small things. It was clearly Sasuke's personality that needed work, not my social skills.

'I was going to ask if your offer still stands.'

I was about to ask what offer he was talking about until I remembered.

Oh God. He had to be bipolar. It was only days ago he flipped me off with a big 'fuck you'. And now, he was bringing it up. There was no denying, however, the sudden relief and happiness that bubbled up in me, since, for hell's sake I needed supervision to get my driver's license.

'Why are you asking?'

'Does it?' He pushed.

'Depends on your answer.'

He frowned in annoyance. 'I'll accept it if it still stands. And apologise for being rude.'

I'm so caught by the surprise, I almost gaped, but the appreciation and sudden boost in ego allowed me to smirk instead.

'Good to know.'

I stretched out my hand. 'Do we have a deal?'

He looked at it, contemplating. After a moment, he stretched out his own but pressed a piece of paper into my palm instead. 'We'll figure details out later. I have to go now.'

And just like that, he turned and walked away.

I opened my palm and saw a small paper with a number written in scrawny writing. I couldn't help but grin, feeling unnaturally giddy. Fighting the urge to dance in happiness, I walked towards the bus stop, forever grateful for the distraction for a fleeting moment.

But the feeling of content disappears the moment I enter the dorm room. Ino was asleep on her desk, pen in hand. She snored softly, and I took the chance to enter the bathroom and open the drawers under the sink. Two packets of pads sat there, unopened. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I checked the dustbin, but it was clean, only scrunches of paper inside.

What I dreaded was coming true.

* * *

**SASUKE**

* * *

When I saw her, shuffling towards the bridge like a living corpse, I hesitated, thinking against my better judgement. There was time to back out. The feeling of recklessness was still there, but maybe my rational side could outweigh it.

I saw her face for a moment, and she looked tired, like she hadn't slept all week. Her eyes drooped, her nose red from the cold, her hair that was normally in a neat ponytail was now a complete and utter mess. Maybe I felt sorry for her, regretful for rejecting her so harshly last time. That was what I told myself as I approached her.

And when I touched to her, saw her jump in utter terror, and then glare like I'd pushed her into a lake, something jolted in my veins.

She looked like she rolled out of bed, but her eyes were fierce, dark bags and all. It was beautiful. She was beautiful.

And when I left, I didn't miss the gleam of happiness in her expression. It gave me pleasure; it _thrilled_ me to know I caused it. I didn't know why I caused it, since we only seemed to affect each other negatively, but I wanted to know how.

I wanted to do it again.

* * *

_**Holidays are finally here! YAYYY! I can finally focus on books and novels and wattpad and fanfiction and tumblr and everything I've had to neglect since February.**_

_**I really wanted to work on this chapter, and it didn't turn out the way I wanted, but I'm posting it anyway. I felt it didn't have sequence, but I'm just going to have to try harder next time, no biggie **_

_**Hopefully youse enjoy it. I'm open to any suggestions from people. Any particular scenes you want to see? I'm open to fan service if it's reasonable and works well with the story, so feel free to ask anything you want, whether it is next chapter or later in the fic.**_

_**Enjoy until next time, your reviews fuel my passion!**_

_**PS: longest chapter yet**_

_**Love y'all!**_


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